wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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