i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
