bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
