I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
he just fucked me for my cheese..
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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