I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
