K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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