do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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