if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
