im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
