just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
