Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
