why didn't you poke me back
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
