So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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