By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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