ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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