somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
