discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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