Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
