so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
