Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
