I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
