just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
A+ Viking dick
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
