you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
