I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
