It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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