if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Life is so much better after having sex.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
