I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
