No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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