last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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