Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
