I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dicks are not precious.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
