Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I FOUND THE LEGS
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
