...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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