someone get that fucking seahorse.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
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