OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
