My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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