People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
