I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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