my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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