No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Randomize
