this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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