Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
