You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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