have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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