I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
