matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
