HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Damn victory sex feels great
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
