Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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