This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
