I want to walk on stilts...naked
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
