I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
