he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize