3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
