Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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