I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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