if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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