Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
