just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
