ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
