You're so nebulous sometimes
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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