the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
