My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
