So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
