I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
