Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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