The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
